Why do you always love to lose temper with your family？
Why do you always love to lose temper with your family?
Many people say that they have “two faces” when facing family and friends. They can tolerate swallowing to friends and other outsiders, but it is easy to lose their temper to family members.
Even if you blame yourself afterwards, you still can’t help but drop the number of people at home. What kind of psychology is this?
In the face of relatives, perhaps our expectations are too high. Relatives, we are often patient with “others” and less likely to get angry.
Because we assume that “others” do not understand us, to get the understanding and cooperation of “others” requires full communication.
But in the face of family members, our patience is very limited, because we think that family members should know and support us best.
In fact, it is true that the closer people are, the more they will understand and support each other.
But in fact, family members can’t point-to-point in everything and reach a full understanding with us. This is unrealistic, and we are not sure that we can understand and support the needs and ideas of loved ones from time to time.
But if something does n’t go well, we often think, “Other people do n’t understand me, so why do n’t you understand me?
People do n’t know how to cooperate with me and support me. Why do n’t you know?
“The more you think about it, the more angry you get.
This is because we expect too much from our families, and sometimes we do not choose.
Faced with the demands and expectations of relatives, our pressure ratio is relative to irrelevant people. Faced with the demands and expectations made by relatives, we realize the pressure gap.
This is because we care more about them in our hearts, and we don’t want them to be unhappy.
So when we think that a loved one expects, if we can’t do it, we run the risk of making him unhappy.
If he isn’t happy, we won’t be happy, it’s as if the result was booked when the first thing happened.
We have to be involved regardless of our body, only allowed to succeed and not to fail!
Therefore, our desire for success is even more urgent, and the pressure generated is also possible.
And these pressures are often gradually accumulated and accumulated one by one.
Just looking at some of these things may not be so life-threatening.
But when the last straw is pressed up, we may burst out at once. This is a transient phenomenon of stress.
But from the family’s perspective, we seem to be angry at one thing, so that the family will not understand our behavior even more.
The family’s incomprehension leads them to be unable to communicate with us in more depth, so the problem is still not resolved. Instead, the deeper the accumulation, the more we will exchange outbreaks and vicious circles.
In the face of loved ones, we often exist in unbridled families, especially among close family members, which is a relatively safe and inclusive environment.
Sometimes, we have been aggrieved or under some pressure outside, and we have no way to vent it, so we have to go to the house to release it.
This is a kind of wantonness when we treat family members, just like children facing mothers, which is quite normal.
Surprisingly, often this catharsis is achieved through non-hierarchical communication.
Under pressure, we often forget how to talk well.
We use taunts, misrepresentations, exaggerations, derogations, obscurity, etc. to our families during the venting process.
In the end, our pressure was relieved, but it hurt our family.
Family conflicts will intensify if our families rebound from our injuries.
The good family situation is ruined by our wantonness.
Always be gentle with strangers, but be harsh with loved ones?
If you want to reverse, you must break this inertia: 1.
Logically, everyone knows that family is the most important thing. We just think that the law, in fact, the bulk of the cost is carried by the party who is being scolded.
There will be inertia to communicate with people, and it will be instinct to see someone say something. It is no different from conditioned reflexes of animals. To improve, it is no different from training dogs.
Before training, you should consider feelings, and consider the result of this substitution, you can break the inertia.
3. Of course, there is another breakthrough belief that needs to be established: Speaking is an important but not casual thing, so be careful.